Confessions of a Therapist Mom: When I Don’t Follow My Own Advice

Sophia Whitehouse
May 8
3 min read

I told a parent just yesterday: “Stay calm. Yelling never helps.” Then my 6-year-old dumped orange juice on my open laptop and I screamed like I’d been personally betrayed by citrus.

Hi. I’m a licensed school psychologist. I help families with emotional regulation, parenting strategies, and behavior plans. And sometimes? I lose my ever-loving mind.

Welcome to the glamorous life of a therapist mom.

Woman sits focused at a laptop on the floor, surrounded by toys and a child playing. Cozy, cluttered room with warm lighting.

☕ Therapist by Day, Chaos Coordinator by Night

Let’s be clear: I have degrees. I’ve read the research. I literally teach this stuff. But somehow, my brain short-circuits when my daughter refuses to brush her teeth for the 87th time.

I go from psychologist to Why am I the only one who cares if we leave the house with pants on?? in about 6 seconds.

I know yelling doesn’t work. I know threats create fear, not cooperation. I know a dysregulated adult can’t regulate a dysregulated child.

And yet… sometimes my face turns into a volcano and my voice registers somewhere between banshee and car alarm.

🎯 Therapist Brain vs. Mom Brain

My therapist brain says:

“Children aren’t giving us a hard time—they’re having a hard time.”

My mom brain says:

“WHY ARE YOUR SHOES WET AND WHY IS THE DOG WEARING YOUR PAJAMAS.”

I can stay calm for 50 minutes straight with a teenager having a panic attack. But I will lose my soul over spilled Goldfish in my car cup holder.

😬 The Guilt Hits Different

The worst part isn’t the yelling. It’s what comes after.

The guilt. The shame spiral. The voice that says, “You should know better.”

I don’t just feel like a bad mom—I feel like a fraud. Like if anyone knew I was making boxed mac and cheese at 9 PM while tearfully Googling “is my child emotionally scarred,” they’d rip my license off the wall.

But here’s the truth: knowing better doesn’t always mean doing better—especially when you're tired, overstimulated, and carrying the mental load of an entire household.

🧡 What I’m Learning (Slowly, Imperfectly)

Repair matters more than perfection. I yell. I apologize. I reconnect. That’s the work. That’s the relationship.
Self-regulation isn’t automatic. It’s a muscle. And mine is tired. Sometimes the most therapeutic thing I can do is take a break.
My kids don’t need a perfect mom. They need a present one. One who can say, “I messed up, and I love you.”
Being a therapist makes me human, not superhuman. The advice is still good. Even when I need to hear it from myself.

❤️ The Takeaway

If you’re out there giving pep talks to other people while microwaving your own dinner at 11 PM and texting your partner “I can’t do this,” you’re not alone.

Being a therapist mom doesn’t make me immune. It makes me messy, aware, and trying.

We’re all just humans, stumbling our way through. Let’s give ourselves the grace we give our clients. 💚

Need someone to talk to who gets it?

📞 Call or text: 614-470-4466

📧 Email: admin@achievepsychology.org

🌐 Visit: www.achievepsychology.org

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